Back to Reality!

We returned from our vacation Saturday evening. We had an absolutely fantastic time. I will share some of the details over the next few days. Samuel did very well. He had his moments of frustration, but every single member of the family did as well. The only two negatives of our vacation were the mosquitoes (quite prevalent in Maine this time of year) and the fact that I did not take a single picture our entire vacation! I had hoped to share some of the beautiful scenery of the area we stayed. I'll have to find other ways of sharing it.

Now it's back to our everyday lives. I'm about to go wake Samuel up to prepare for the arrival of our in-home helper!

Working at Samuel's Pace, Not Mine

I have not sat down with Samuel for "worktime" as frequently in the past few days. That's okay, he is getting it 3 hours per morning with our in-home helper. Let's see, late last week I pulled out a "Handwriting Without Tears" book for him to do some lower case letter practise. He is used to doing these at school but he had not done any for me at home before. He protested quite loudly! He accepted it much better the next time I got it out.



We have been reading a book about whales for quite a while. It is a Random House "Step Into Reading Book." This series of books has 5 different levels for the various stages of reading readiness. This particular book, "Whales, The Gentle Giants" is a level 3, which is for "Reading on Your Own" grades 1-3. This is a bit above Samuel's ability. He does not seem to be able to handle reading a page when there are more than one or two sentences on it, in big type. When we read this book I cover some of the sentences, I read and then let him read a word or a simple sentence here and there. Sometimes I have to cue Samuel to read the word but often he will read it on his own if he hears that I have paused a bit.

Reading through this book has been very slow going. I thought maybe we would read the whole book in 2 or 3 days, but instead we only read one page each time we work on it, which isn't even every day. I'm planning to take it on our vacation, and I bet we won't even finish it then. I was beginning to wonder if reading this was at all worthwhile, but I changed my mind about this a few days ago. I asked Samuel "What would you like to read?" He looked on the shelf in our kitchen and selected the whales book! Then yesterday, after reading our page I had a worksheet for him to do. He wasn't ready to work on it right away. He picked up the book and looked at the pictures and then looked ahead in the book. I let him do this for a few minutes and was just thrilled! I love to see him browse through books!

This is one of those instances where I have a goal in mind for working on something, but I have to adjust it based on how Samuel is able to to work. Also, I have to remember that Samuel may not always communicate his interest in something as "visibly" as I might expect. This can be true of any of our children, whether or not they are autistic!

Preparing for Vacation

What a busy busy day I had yesterday. One of those days where you start on a "project" and then steer off into about 3 or 4 other projects from that one you started on. Not only do I have a vacation to get ready for but we have friends who are going to stay in our house so I have to leave things in nice condition for them!

As I was busy the boys all saw this as freedom to play on electronic devices all day.. Playstation and the computers. They weren't so interested in watching television but just as well because Dad had that on watching some kind of auto racing!

Speaking of Dad, we celebrated Father's Day by all going to Summit Point, West Virginia (a 30 minute drive from here) to see an SCCA (Sports Car Club of America) race. My husband participated in that club up in NY before we were married. Now he participates in SVRA. I don't know the exact words for it, but it has to do with Vintage Sportscars. He drives a 1969 Datsun. We left soon after we all went to church, walked around a bit, and then sat at a curve in the track while we ate a picnic lunch and watched a race. The noise of the cars did not seem to bother Samuel. We were on our way home shortly after noon. I'm glad because it was a hot day!

I was able to sift through just about all of Samuel's school work. It all gets sent home throughout the year and this past year I saved EVERYTHING. I want to look through it all this summer and see what progress he made in his subjects. I have everything filed by subject so after our vacation I will start looking at it. Our in-home helper will also be able to use the work done to come up with some review work for Samuel.

Today is shaping up pretty much like yesterday, except that I am trying to fit in some Math, Spelling, and English work for my oldest son. I am so thankful on a morning like this that I have someone to help me with Samuel! He wasn't all that eager to do his work at first, but he ended up doing pretty good. The theme for his work this week is "at the beach" so that is helping him get into the spirit of our vacation.

First Full Week of Vacation

I'm still very happy to have Samuel at home after a week of him being out of school, but I will admit that I'm quite exhausted and a bit frustrated. Samuel's mission the past couple days has been to spend as much time as possible on something electronic. He has a choice between Playstation and two different computers. Samuel's two brothers are doing the same thing. It's not so bad on weekdays. It is easier to ration out time on the computers and Playstation because there is a bit more structure to our days. Now I need to get a routine for the weekend going. I also need to figure out how to make our computers accessible only by password.



My parents visited earlier this week. They live about a 3 hour drive from here so we only see them a few times each year. We all had a nice time together and Samuel seemed to enjoy their visit as well. He became agitated one time when we tried playing a game with him. He scattered the game pieces. I know that it is going against most of our natures to take a situation like that and deal with it only by speaking to the perpetrator in a monotone voice. Samuel's helper was here when it happened. She removed him from the room for a break. We finished the game without Samuel and then put it away. As soon as she returned with him I realized "Uh oh, he needs to 'finish' his game!" We quickly pulled the game out again and played another with no further incident. We put several things on his schedule for him to interact with my parents.. things like playing a game and having a conversation. All of these things went by very quickly, but he followed his schedule quite well! Best of all, Samuel didn't try hitting them! We had a problem with that a few visits ago.



I'll be busy in the coming week getting ready for our vacation up to Maine. It will be good to get out of town for a few days!


I don't think I've mentioned Samuel's current favorites in a while. Samuel is still very intrigued by retail locations that have gone out of business. In addition to the restaurant he likes to ask about he now asks about a motorcycle shop that closed. It is next to the place we get doughnuts after church on Sunday. On the days that just he and I go we take a walk over to the closed motorcycle shop and read the sign posted:"___________ will close effective ___________ 16, 2006. We are sorry for any inconvenience..." Samuel also likes Noggin, the TV station with kid's shows between 6am and 6pm. Samuel likes to ask me when the kids shows start and when they end. He, of course, knows all of this but for some reason likes to have me repeat the info. He also likes Nick Jr. He looks the schedule up on the computer and will tell me when the shows he likes are on. So far he cannot change channels on the TV, but that day will come soon.

Tonight when we were all playing outside I asked him what he was playing. He told me that he was planning to open a restaurant, a "Crusty Crab" (from Sponge Bob Square Pants) in an empty house that is behind a house we used to live in. When it came time to try to engage Samuel in play outside, rather than force him to play catch, the other boys and I joined his game and held a "board meeting" at our picnic table to discuss the opening of the new restaurant. Samuel thought this was great fun and played right along with it. The only trouble came from his 5 year old brother who did not want to wait his turn to talk!

I'm Glad to Have Samuel at Home

This post began as a reply to "Mother of Many"s comment to my last post. It got a little bit long, however, so I decided to make it a separate post. Thank you "A"!

When Samuel first started school four and a half years ago I felt relieved every day when I took him. I felt like he was where he should be and almost immediately we saw good results. I also was freed from the worry that he was not doing anything productive at home, and I was able to give better attention to my older son, who was in kindergarten at the time.

Even now, I have to admit that it is easier to run errands and do certain things when Samuel is in school. (However, I now have 3 other children in tow so it's not as easy as it used to be!) This past school year, however, I started to find that I felt better the days Samuel stayed home. He seems happier at home and I am at a point now where I have more knowledge about how to keep him better occupied with his time. It's not perfect, and my days are impossibly busy (which they are anyways because I homeschool and have the other children), but I truly enjoy having him home now. It used to be the days he was sick or school was cancelled I would think, "Oh, no!" Now I think, "Good!"

My sister-in-law, who is a Services Coordinator for children with Developmental Disabilities in New York, said she came across some information in a conference that studies have found the inclusion setting at school does not always work for autistic children. I am trying to get her to give me the information but I don't have it yet. I suppose I could try researching it myself as well. I'd like to know what alternative they suggest. I am beginning to think that the stress that inclusion causes Samuel does not offset the benefit of the social contacts that he has. Samuel is a smart little guy but I don't think the best environment for his learning is necessarily a classroom full of other children. Samuel's Dad never did well in a classroom setting either. He was moved from school to school as a child. As an adult in college he also had difficulties sitting in a classroom listening to lectures. He claims that the classroom setting was only comfortable for him when the class had a discussion format. I'm wondering if we're dealing with the same kind of thing with Samuel.

It is my hope that we can find the best kind of setting for Samuel to learn in. I don't want to fight against his nature to make him "fit" in a classroom setting. When I say that inclusion may not be the answer, I am not necessarily saying that I want him to be in a self-contained classroom setting. Not, if it is just another form of sitting at a desk or table and listening to someone talk.

School's Out for Summer!

Yesterday was Samuel's last day of second grade. He only had school for two hours, from 9am to 11am. I almost didn't send him in, but changed my mind when I realized it would give us one last time to attend Daily Mass and run an errand to pick up some gifts for his teacher aids. I am quite relieved to have a break from all the driving back and forth into town and am looking forward to many days of staying home.

So here we are, summer vacation, day one. Samuel's older brother is enjoying a day with Dad, so I have a break from his school work today. I arranged for a babysitter for my little girl and tried to take Samuel and his younger brother to a special needs children's activity at the library. Unfortunately there was a mix-up with the time so we did not get to experience that. Instead, we went out for an "end of the schoolyear" celebration lunch. Samuel was happy to be out and behaved very nicely. He was a little loud and made some funny noises, but I was happy that he did not try to run away and he did not lose his patience when I requested things of him.

Besides being relieved about the break from all the driving around, I am also relieved to know that Samuel is home now for a while and I get to have a lot more control in determining what we will attempt to do during our days. I am looking forward to working on some reading and Math with him. I'll be putting together a list of things to talk to his school about before the beginning of next school year.

Well, Samuel and his brother are about to finish up their TV watching time. I am off to prepare our next set of activities!

Music Concert

Last Tuesday grades kindergarten through second grade held a music concert at Samuel's school. I attended along with Samuel's 2 brothers and sister. Each grade sang 4 or 5 songs and between each grade singing we had to wait while they filed off the stage and the next group assembled. It was a warm day and the air in the gymnasium where it was held was quite stifling. I had to take my other 3 children out for a break because the still air and the noise level just got to be too much. My homeschooled children are not used to assembling in large groups in an enclosed area like that! I wondered how Samuel and his autistic classmates were enduring it. I noticed that one boy had what appeared to be headphones on, probably to block out the noise!

Samuel's grade was the last to sing. They assembled on stage. Samuel stood at the end of a row. His aid stood quite a ways back in the audience but was watching him carefully.

Glass half full version of the story: Samuel stood with his class while they sang two songs. Then he had to take a break.

Glass half empty version of the story: Samuel looked lost standing up there with his classmates. He did not sing any of the songs. His aid had sent me home the words to the songs but I did not go over them with Samuel in the couple weeks I had them. I did not know the melodies to two of them, and I just never got around to calling the teacher to find out. I had heard Samuel singing some of them at home, but at the concert he did not sing at all. After two songs he turned around and stood with his back to the audience. His aid brought him down from the stage and he never went back up. I found out later that he had been crying. When I asked him why he just said "I was sad." He would not elaborate any further even when I tried to get him to.

This makes me wonder even further about Samuel's educational setting at school. What are we hoping that he will accomplish? What is the benefit of him participating in an event when it really doesn't mean all that much to him? Should he be included in everything? I don't mean to sound negative about this, but when I look at the amount of time that he is away from our family, I have to wonder if the results we see are worth it. There are some positive things yes, but it seems to me the older that Samuel gets the less appropriate his educational setting is. I want his learning and his life to be meaningful to him, not just convenient for me.