Due to my oldest son's racing activities, every now and then I find myself without my husband around Sunday mornings when it is time to go to church. I am happy to say that this morning Samuel, his sister, and I all successfully made it through mass, on our first attempt! I made sure to give Samuel advance notice about how things would happen. I usually have to sit with him separately from the rest of the family; he gets distracted and agitated with his siblings around. The only other time I tried this was when I had one of his brothers with us, Samuel did not care for it. We had some close calls this morning: he loves to tease his sister and one time he started getting agitated when I asked him to change the position he was sitting in. I tackled these challenges by giving Samuel some words of encouragement and a few hugs and thankfully it helped.
To celebrate our success we went out for breakfast, with more good results! That was no small feat either, with a very tempting gift shop to maneuver through as we entered and exited! (Can you guess what restaurant I might be talking about!?)
Showing posts with label Church behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church behavior. Show all posts
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Happy "Remake of 2009"!
Where on earth did Christmas and New Year's Day go!? They went by in such a flash and I feel like I barely got to savor any of it! In spite of the rushed feeling, however, we had a great time. The kids and I took a much-needed two week break from school work. It has been a few years since I have "officially" done this. Having time to devote to baking, cookie decorating, and even some ornament making was so much nicer than trying to cram it in between lessons.
Samuel, in his "life is all about DVDs and VHS tapes" style, is refusing to acknowledge the new year as 2010, but instead is calling it "The Remake of 2009." As he looked at his calendar last week he said things like, "The original 2009 is ending. January 1st is the start of the Remake of 2009!"
One of a few nice surprises that have come up with Samuel recently are that we have been able to take him to different masses at church with mostly nice results. For a while I only felt comfortable taking him to one particular mass that did not have music. In the past month he has been able to endure not only music, but also the priest who he had been quite afraid of. I still have to take him out for a "break" during the homily so it is hard for me to ever get to hear it. It seems that he can take the noise in the church when it is in the form of prayers and readings he is familiar with, but when a priest gets up and talks more freely during the homily (sometimes with very heartfelt emotion), it is more than he can handle. He is even more sensitive in the vestibule area, where the speaker volume is often very high, so we usually have to retreat to the stairwell of the church building. It's all a part of the long road we're travelling on to teach Samuel the importance of God and of his faith in his life. Samuel will be making his First Penance and First Communion this year, and I am so grateful that for going on three years now I have been able to take him into the church and sit with him for a good portion of mass each week.
An even more recent surprise with Samuel is that he has become much more accepting of eating the foods I prepare for the entire family at dinner time. For years I had to have a back-up dinner for Samuel, and often for his younger siblings as well. This past year I tried to have the kids eat what I prepared instead of having to make another meal, it just got to be too much to have to make 2 and sometimes 3 entrees. The rest of the kids went along quite well, but it was always tough with Samuel. In the last few weeks however there were some days I just didn't feel like going through the trouble of preparing anything else and I just put a plate in front of Samuel. Much to my surprise he actually ate what I served! I have found that casserole-type entrees go over the best for him. He does not seem to like eating meat. He is tolerating pasta much better now as well.
Best wishes for a terrific 2010!
Samuel, in his "life is all about DVDs and VHS tapes" style, is refusing to acknowledge the new year as 2010, but instead is calling it "The Remake of 2009." As he looked at his calendar last week he said things like, "The original 2009 is ending. January 1st is the start of the Remake of 2009!"
One of a few nice surprises that have come up with Samuel recently are that we have been able to take him to different masses at church with mostly nice results. For a while I only felt comfortable taking him to one particular mass that did not have music. In the past month he has been able to endure not only music, but also the priest who he had been quite afraid of. I still have to take him out for a "break" during the homily so it is hard for me to ever get to hear it. It seems that he can take the noise in the church when it is in the form of prayers and readings he is familiar with, but when a priest gets up and talks more freely during the homily (sometimes with very heartfelt emotion), it is more than he can handle. He is even more sensitive in the vestibule area, where the speaker volume is often very high, so we usually have to retreat to the stairwell of the church building. It's all a part of the long road we're travelling on to teach Samuel the importance of God and of his faith in his life. Samuel will be making his First Penance and First Communion this year, and I am so grateful that for going on three years now I have been able to take him into the church and sit with him for a good portion of mass each week.
An even more recent surprise with Samuel is that he has become much more accepting of eating the foods I prepare for the entire family at dinner time. For years I had to have a back-up dinner for Samuel, and often for his younger siblings as well. This past year I tried to have the kids eat what I prepared instead of having to make another meal, it just got to be too much to have to make 2 and sometimes 3 entrees. The rest of the kids went along quite well, but it was always tough with Samuel. In the last few weeks however there were some days I just didn't feel like going through the trouble of preparing anything else and I just put a plate in front of Samuel. Much to my surprise he actually ate what I served! I have found that casserole-type entrees go over the best for him. He does not seem to like eating meat. He is tolerating pasta much better now as well.
Best wishes for a terrific 2010!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Soccer Update and Social Skills Update
I'm in another spell of being too busy to blog, but I wanted to give a quick update.
Unfortunately, Samuel's enthusiasm for soccer did not carry forward to the next practise. I was so eager, I had the entire family come along and Samuel was not interested at all. As his helper and I tried to keep him involved he got more and more agitated and finally had a bit of a meltdown, with curse words and all! We've been talking about it with Samuel all week and we'll see how it goes at practise tomorrow night. Hopefully there will be more staff on hand to help. There were not as many staff members to help this past week as there were the first time we went.
A trip to go shoe shopping, along with a trip to an electronic game store, started off very bumpy this past weekend. It ended on a much better note, however, after we took a bit of a break in the car. Samuel even apologized for his behavior later in the day.
Samuel is continuing to ask inappropriate questions as he greets people. The latest question at church to the ushers is, "Are you bald?" Fortunately, they are good-natured about it! As he looked around the church this past weekend I heard him whisper to himself, "Everyone's bald!" A good percentage of the men were! I mentioned Samuel's questions to his speech therapist yesterday and she pointed out that Samuel is becoming more aware of the differences in people, so in dealing with this we need to address that awareness in Samuel. I had been stuck on the idea that he was doing the whole greeting thing wrong.
Can anyone steer me to any good sources of teaching material that talk about how people are different?
Unfortunately, Samuel's enthusiasm for soccer did not carry forward to the next practise. I was so eager, I had the entire family come along and Samuel was not interested at all. As his helper and I tried to keep him involved he got more and more agitated and finally had a bit of a meltdown, with curse words and all! We've been talking about it with Samuel all week and we'll see how it goes at practise tomorrow night. Hopefully there will be more staff on hand to help. There were not as many staff members to help this past week as there were the first time we went.
A trip to go shoe shopping, along with a trip to an electronic game store, started off very bumpy this past weekend. It ended on a much better note, however, after we took a bit of a break in the car. Samuel even apologized for his behavior later in the day.
Samuel is continuing to ask inappropriate questions as he greets people. The latest question at church to the ushers is, "Are you bald?" Fortunately, they are good-natured about it! As he looked around the church this past weekend I heard him whisper to himself, "Everyone's bald!" A good percentage of the men were! I mentioned Samuel's questions to his speech therapist yesterday and she pointed out that Samuel is becoming more aware of the differences in people, so in dealing with this we need to address that awareness in Samuel. I had been stuck on the idea that he was doing the whole greeting thing wrong.
Can anyone steer me to any good sources of teaching material that talk about how people are different?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Skittle-free at Church!
I am very happy to be able to say that Samuel made it through mass this morning without me giving him any Skittles whatsoever! He didn't even ask for them, and I didn't even realize that this had happened until a few hours after we got home! Not that I would say that Samuel did the best that he has ever done at mass today; he was quite inattentive and I could tell that his thoughts were elsewhere. That's okay though, the first hurdle that I knew we had to get over was for Samuel to be able to sit through mass without any outbursts.
At the beginning of dealing with this, a year and a half ago when we first started sitting in the church (instead of behind closed doors in the "cry room"), my method was to give him a Skittle (fruit-flavored candy that looks like "M&Ms") every few seconds that he was quiet. In the past few months he had progressed to just getting 3 or 4 Skittles during the homily (sermon). Today, I took Samuel out of the church for a short break during the homily. Fortunately, our pastor's voice projects quite nicely to the outside of the church so I could hear his homily without a problem while Samuel had a few minutes to walk around. Samuel really seemed to be needy of sensory things, so I gave him lots of hugs and squeezes, and let him sit on my lap for very short amounts of time.
Samuel is very interested in religion. I would say his knowledge and interest is like that of a neurotypical 4 or 5 year old. He likes Bible stories like The Creation Story, Noah and the Flood, the life of Jesus. He also likes looking at all the stained glass and statues in our church.
We are just finishing a kindergarten level religion book for him, and I'm looking forward to future religion lessons that start to teach him about all that is going on in the mass. I think he is ready to learn about it now that he does so much better about sitting in church. I am hoping that he will be able to receive his First Communion two years from now (the same year that his younger brother will). He may not be able to receive his First Communion in the same mass that his peers do, but I am hopeful that at that time he will have a much better understanding and sense of reverence for this most important sacrament of our faith.
What is the next hurdle? Getting Samuel to follow along, or pay attention, to what is going on at mass. This is going to be tricky. Samuel and I sit in the very back of the church. His behavior is such that others would find it to be very distracting, so I try to stay in the back where he isn't as much of a distraction. People at our parish are wonderfully understanding. I wish that some children wouldn't stare at him as much as they do, but I'm sure that 86 pound almost 5 foot tall 9 year old Samuel moving around like a two year old is quite a curious site to behold! Anyways, back to sitting at the back of the church, it is difficult for Samuel to see what is going on. I think it would be helpful for him to be able to see what is going on at the altar, but I don't feel like he is quite ready to sit up where he would be a distraction. I'm going to think a bit about what we might do. If anyone has any suggestions, or would like to share how their child has learned to better participate in mass, church services, concerts, lectures, etc... I'd love to hear about it!
Until Samuel receives his First Communion, I suppose I'll still keep the Skittles on hand. I may need them to get over the next few hurdles, and I'm okay giving them to him in church right now (we are required to fast one hour before receiving Communion, so edible reinforcers will not be an option once he hopes to receive). However, now that I have seen that he can get by without them, I will make more of an effort to save them for after Mass.
At the beginning of dealing with this, a year and a half ago when we first started sitting in the church (instead of behind closed doors in the "cry room"), my method was to give him a Skittle (fruit-flavored candy that looks like "M&Ms") every few seconds that he was quiet. In the past few months he had progressed to just getting 3 or 4 Skittles during the homily (sermon). Today, I took Samuel out of the church for a short break during the homily. Fortunately, our pastor's voice projects quite nicely to the outside of the church so I could hear his homily without a problem while Samuel had a few minutes to walk around. Samuel really seemed to be needy of sensory things, so I gave him lots of hugs and squeezes, and let him sit on my lap for very short amounts of time.
Samuel is very interested in religion. I would say his knowledge and interest is like that of a neurotypical 4 or 5 year old. He likes Bible stories like The Creation Story, Noah and the Flood, the life of Jesus. He also likes looking at all the stained glass and statues in our church.
We are just finishing a kindergarten level religion book for him, and I'm looking forward to future religion lessons that start to teach him about all that is going on in the mass. I think he is ready to learn about it now that he does so much better about sitting in church. I am hoping that he will be able to receive his First Communion two years from now (the same year that his younger brother will). He may not be able to receive his First Communion in the same mass that his peers do, but I am hopeful that at that time he will have a much better understanding and sense of reverence for this most important sacrament of our faith.
What is the next hurdle? Getting Samuel to follow along, or pay attention, to what is going on at mass. This is going to be tricky. Samuel and I sit in the very back of the church. His behavior is such that others would find it to be very distracting, so I try to stay in the back where he isn't as much of a distraction. People at our parish are wonderfully understanding. I wish that some children wouldn't stare at him as much as they do, but I'm sure that 86 pound almost 5 foot tall 9 year old Samuel moving around like a two year old is quite a curious site to behold! Anyways, back to sitting at the back of the church, it is difficult for Samuel to see what is going on. I think it would be helpful for him to be able to see what is going on at the altar, but I don't feel like he is quite ready to sit up where he would be a distraction. I'm going to think a bit about what we might do. If anyone has any suggestions, or would like to share how their child has learned to better participate in mass, church services, concerts, lectures, etc... I'd love to hear about it!
Until Samuel receives his First Communion, I suppose I'll still keep the Skittles on hand. I may need them to get over the next few hurdles, and I'm okay giving them to him in church right now (we are required to fast one hour before receiving Communion, so edible reinforcers will not be an option once he hopes to receive). However, now that I have seen that he can get by without them, I will make more of an effort to save them for after Mass.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Celebrating Holy Week
This photo is of Samuel looking at his Bible Story Book.Samuel loves the religion lessons we do together at home. He has been interested in God, Jesus, Mary, Bible Stories, and other elements of our faith for several years now. He is particularly interested in The Last Supper and The Stations of the Cross, and this has been very evident as Holy Week has approached this year.
I am looking forward to the day that we can go to church during Lent and Holy Week to join in the special services and masses that take place during this time. I thought about trying to take Samuel to the Stations of the Cross this year (our church does this Friday evenings during Lent), but we never did make it. That's okay, I have been enjoying helping Samuel read through a small book we have about it. I think that is more meaningful to him right now than it would be to attempt to have him sit at church in a socially acceptable manner for the half hour or so it would take. I am hopeful that Samuel will be much further on the road to better behavior at church by next Lent and I think it will be easier by then for my young daughter to either go along or remain at home with my husband. We are certainly not alone in this, it is difficult for many people to attend church with young children, whether their children are autistic or not.
We will be observing the Triduum by reading Bible stories at home together and watching special events on television. I'm thankful that Samuel is doing so much better at mass week to week now. We're so much closer to being able to attend additional things at our church now than we were last year, and I'm very hopeful that it will be even better by next year.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
A summary of Samuel's last 3 weeks at church:
Three weeks ago Samuel made it through ALL of mass sitting in church. I don't think we even had to go to the vestibule for a water break. Granted, it was early in the morning and at the time I thought perhaps he wasn't very awake, thereby accounting for his compliant behavior. Also, he recited the last part of The Lord's Prayer! I have been holding up a board book with the words to this prayer for well over a year now, but he has never said any of it out loud.
The second Sunday he not only sat with me, but with his brothers as well. We only had to take one water break, but it was at a pretty good time. Both weeks we reached the Homily before I gave him any Skittles (which has been my reinforcer to keep him quiet for some time now). Now for the amazing part: we attended mass at a time that we have not gone in over a year, AND THIS MASS HAD MUSIC AND SINGING! I informed him ahead of time that there would be singing and music. I asked him if he would be able to tolerate this. His first answer was "No," but after a few seconds he said, "Okay." I really didn't expect him to be able to tolerate it, but he did fantastic! He again said part of the Lord's Prayer out loud.
The third Sunday was today. Hopeful that Samuel would continue his positive trend, I had our entire family sit in the same pew, something we have not done yet. This appeared to bother Samuel a little, but he sat just as well as he had the previous two weeks. We didn't have to take any water break, but just before communion he got a little impatient. He was asking questions about the Lord's Prayer book and I asked him to wait until after church was over for us to talk about it. Well, that was a bit much for him so he tossed the book! Fortunately we were in the back row so it did not land on anyone. He then screamed so I took him out to the vestibule where he screamed again. I then took him outside of the church. It was a bit chilly so he was not very happy to be there. I told him that he needed to have a quiet mouth before we went back in. The screaming started again and this time his Dad came out. He gave me our little girl and he took Samuel out to the car. Thank goodness our 10 year old and 5 year old boys are little angels in church. They are used to us having to leave them when we have to deal with our little girl or Samuel.
Oh well, our church hasn't been "treated" to Samuel's screams in a long time but they got quite a dose of it today!
What will I do differently next week? First, I'll try to get the boys to bed a little earlier the night before! I got caught up in change-of-seasons clothing project last night and bedtime got away from me! Also, I think I am going to re-type the Lord's prayer on some plain paper. Samuel gets very interested in one of the pictures in his board book, which is what he was trying to talk to me about today. Important: I will show him the re-typed prayer and will let him know that it will replace the board book at mass! Also, if Dad gives me a break from Samuel, I'll be sure to take Samuel back into the church before we leave. I think that is important. He needs to know his behavior doesn't get him out of the expectation we have of him to be in church.
When I got in the car after mass, Samuel was crying and said "I'm so sorry Mommy!" I told him it was okay and that we would try again next week!
Three weeks ago Samuel made it through ALL of mass sitting in church. I don't think we even had to go to the vestibule for a water break. Granted, it was early in the morning and at the time I thought perhaps he wasn't very awake, thereby accounting for his compliant behavior. Also, he recited the last part of The Lord's Prayer! I have been holding up a board book with the words to this prayer for well over a year now, but he has never said any of it out loud.
The second Sunday he not only sat with me, but with his brothers as well. We only had to take one water break, but it was at a pretty good time. Both weeks we reached the Homily before I gave him any Skittles (which has been my reinforcer to keep him quiet for some time now). Now for the amazing part: we attended mass at a time that we have not gone in over a year, AND THIS MASS HAD MUSIC AND SINGING! I informed him ahead of time that there would be singing and music. I asked him if he would be able to tolerate this. His first answer was "No," but after a few seconds he said, "Okay." I really didn't expect him to be able to tolerate it, but he did fantastic! He again said part of the Lord's Prayer out loud.
The third Sunday was today. Hopeful that Samuel would continue his positive trend, I had our entire family sit in the same pew, something we have not done yet. This appeared to bother Samuel a little, but he sat just as well as he had the previous two weeks. We didn't have to take any water break, but just before communion he got a little impatient. He was asking questions about the Lord's Prayer book and I asked him to wait until after church was over for us to talk about it. Well, that was a bit much for him so he tossed the book! Fortunately we were in the back row so it did not land on anyone. He then screamed so I took him out to the vestibule where he screamed again. I then took him outside of the church. It was a bit chilly so he was not very happy to be there. I told him that he needed to have a quiet mouth before we went back in. The screaming started again and this time his Dad came out. He gave me our little girl and he took Samuel out to the car. Thank goodness our 10 year old and 5 year old boys are little angels in church. They are used to us having to leave them when we have to deal with our little girl or Samuel.
Oh well, our church hasn't been "treated" to Samuel's screams in a long time but they got quite a dose of it today!
What will I do differently next week? First, I'll try to get the boys to bed a little earlier the night before! I got caught up in change-of-seasons clothing project last night and bedtime got away from me! Also, I think I am going to re-type the Lord's prayer on some plain paper. Samuel gets very interested in one of the pictures in his board book, which is what he was trying to talk to me about today. Important: I will show him the re-typed prayer and will let him know that it will replace the board book at mass! Also, if Dad gives me a break from Samuel, I'll be sure to take Samuel back into the church before we leave. I think that is important. He needs to know his behavior doesn't get him out of the expectation we have of him to be in church.
When I got in the car after mass, Samuel was crying and said "I'm so sorry Mommy!" I told him it was okay and that we would try again next week!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sitting in Church
Yesterday was a great day in church. For the first time in two and a half years Samuel sat in church for the entire duration of mass! I cannot believe this happened, I had no plans to try it when we entered church yesterday morning.
It was seven months ago now that we stopped sitting in the cry room at church. Since then we've had good weeks and bad weeks there. Most weeks we stayed in the church for a little over half of mass, then Samuel would be too restless so we would go to the vestibule area, where other restless children and latecomers would sit or stand. In the last month Samuel has been a bit more restless in church. In fact, just a few weeks ago he screamed and we almost left. He had not screamed in many months, maybe since early spring.
Yesterday, Samuel was very quiet in church. I didn't even start to give him Skittles (his reinforcer to keep quiet) until we were in the there almost 10 minutes. I'm sure another reason he kept quiet was that he was very tired. I put in lots of verbal reinforcing praises and hugs and pats on the back between the times I gave him a Skittle. It really takes a long time to reduce a negative behavior by praising him for the times he shows good behavior!
I was so happy when we left at the end of mass and made sure I told him so. We followed by doing one of Samuel's favorite things, eating a donut at the "HandyMart" and taking a walk over to the bankrupt motorcycle shop to read their closing sign.
It was seven months ago now that we stopped sitting in the cry room at church. Since then we've had good weeks and bad weeks there. Most weeks we stayed in the church for a little over half of mass, then Samuel would be too restless so we would go to the vestibule area, where other restless children and latecomers would sit or stand. In the last month Samuel has been a bit more restless in church. In fact, just a few weeks ago he screamed and we almost left. He had not screamed in many months, maybe since early spring.
Yesterday, Samuel was very quiet in church. I didn't even start to give him Skittles (his reinforcer to keep quiet) until we were in the there almost 10 minutes. I'm sure another reason he kept quiet was that he was very tired. I put in lots of verbal reinforcing praises and hugs and pats on the back between the times I gave him a Skittle. It really takes a long time to reduce a negative behavior by praising him for the times he shows good behavior!
I was so happy when we left at the end of mass and made sure I told him so. We followed by doing one of Samuel's favorite things, eating a donut at the "HandyMart" and taking a walk over to the bankrupt motorcycle shop to read their closing sign.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Wondering About Heaven
The pastor of my church gives wonderful homilies (the Catholic version of sermons), and this past Sunday one of the topics discussed was heaven! This has been a subject of great interest to Samuel lately. Now that he can sit through almost half of mass in the church I have been wondering how I could get him to pay more attention. The timing of this homily was perfect! He wants to know if our bodies go to heaven when we die. He has become upset when I tell him that they do not. Our pastor's homily clarified that eventually, our bodies and souls will be reunited in heaven. Samuel also asks about what a soul is. I better brush up on my knowledge of theology and be ready for more questions and answers!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Time to Pull out the Wright's Law Book Again
I spent an hour and a half on the phone tonight with the Mom of a special needs boy who had been in Samuel's class up until this school year. She has not had her son diagnosed with autism yet, and is facing problems with the services he is receiving at school because of it. For confidentiality reasons I cannot say any more about it, but our discussion reminded me that I need to once again start reading "From Emotions to Advocacy" and start questioning things that I see and don't see in Samuel's IEP.
Samuel has been very challenging the past few days. He is constantly scripting at home (I am told he has not been doing this at school). The last two weekends he would not get himself dressed on Saturday mornings (the only day I can leave him to dress himself). He also remains very unfocused when we do his homework. The token board, with its promise of an occasional bite of snack as a reinforcer, is not helping him the way it had been a few months ago. Maybe Samuel needs a new reinforcer. He may have been tired one or two of the days, but that isn't the only thing going on here. I won't let him watch "The Upside Down Show" anymore. However, his brothers still like to imitate things they see on it so it's been very hard keeping Samuel from imitating it himself. He also tries to watch it on Noggin's website during his computer playtime. We only made it through about 10 minutes of mass last Sunday, he kept screaming. He had only gotten a little sleep the night before so I knew it wouldn't be worth staying there.
He is starting to ask questions about school ending. There are only 5 more weeks!
I was very saddened by the shootings at Virginia Tech last week. I had to stop watching the news about it after a couple days because I was starting to get desensitized to the story. Early this past Monday morning, however, I watched a portion of CNN's show about the shooting victims. Although it was overwhelmingly sad, I was glad to hear about the real story in all of this, the senseless loss of such beautiful lives.
Samuel has been very challenging the past few days. He is constantly scripting at home (I am told he has not been doing this at school). The last two weekends he would not get himself dressed on Saturday mornings (the only day I can leave him to dress himself). He also remains very unfocused when we do his homework. The token board, with its promise of an occasional bite of snack as a reinforcer, is not helping him the way it had been a few months ago. Maybe Samuel needs a new reinforcer. He may have been tired one or two of the days, but that isn't the only thing going on here. I won't let him watch "The Upside Down Show" anymore. However, his brothers still like to imitate things they see on it so it's been very hard keeping Samuel from imitating it himself. He also tries to watch it on Noggin's website during his computer playtime. We only made it through about 10 minutes of mass last Sunday, he kept screaming. He had only gotten a little sleep the night before so I knew it wouldn't be worth staying there.
He is starting to ask questions about school ending. There are only 5 more weeks!
I was very saddened by the shootings at Virginia Tech last week. I had to stop watching the news about it after a couple days because I was starting to get desensitized to the story. Early this past Monday morning, however, I watched a portion of CNN's show about the shooting victims. Although it was overwhelmingly sad, I was glad to hear about the real story in all of this, the senseless loss of such beautiful lives.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Back to Church
This morning was the first time I have taken Samuel to church in quite a few weeks. I think this is only the second time I have taken him to mass since the "Kachow!" incident. In the weeks since then we have either had sick children or were recovering from the time change so Samuel has not gone with me. Instead I have taken baby girl. She is even more difficult to take to church than Samuel these days! I think our family will be doing a split-shift job attending church for the next few months.
I was a bit apprehensive about taking Samuel this morning. When I mentioned taking him yesterday the first thing he said was "I won't hit anyone!" We started off in "the big church." I came armed with a mini-visual schedule along with the rest of my "church survival kit" (see picture above ) It includes a dry-erase board to write short messages (I try to use as few verbal prompts as possible), some saint trading cards, a mini-visual schedule with good behavior prompts, a book of the Lord's Prayer (the only prayer I'm trying to get him to recite - which he doesn't do yet), an inconspicuous sensory toy and a rosary (more conspicuous but visually acceptable in context at church). Oops, I left out an important item in the picture, a small non-crinkly pouch of skittles! We made it in the big church just about as long as the last time we went, into the priest's homily (about a half hour). Samuel just couldn't resist scripting The Upside Down Show. My "whisper voice" written and then oral prompts were losing their effectiveness so I figured it was time to go to the lobby. I had to frequently prompt him to have a quiet mouth the rest of mass. On several occasions he said "Mom I'm having a quiet mouth!" his way of asking for a skittle!
I was a bit apprehensive about taking Samuel this morning. When I mentioned taking him yesterday the first thing he said was "I won't hit anyone!" We started off in "the big church." I came armed with a mini-visual schedule along with the rest of my "church survival kit" (see picture above ) It includes a dry-erase board to write short messages (I try to use as few verbal prompts as possible), some saint trading cards, a mini-visual schedule with good behavior prompts, a book of the Lord's Prayer (the only prayer I'm trying to get him to recite - which he doesn't do yet), an inconspicuous sensory toy and a rosary (more conspicuous but visually acceptable in context at church). Oops, I left out an important item in the picture, a small non-crinkly pouch of skittles! We made it in the big church just about as long as the last time we went, into the priest's homily (about a half hour). Samuel just couldn't resist scripting The Upside Down Show. My "whisper voice" written and then oral prompts were losing their effectiveness so I figured it was time to go to the lobby. I had to frequently prompt him to have a quiet mouth the rest of mass. On several occasions he said "Mom I'm having a quiet mouth!" his way of asking for a skittle!
I did not walk up to the front of the church for communion. A priest was able to bring it back to me, and others who cannot walk up. I told Samuel we will not go to the front of the church for communion again until we apologize to the sister that he hit. I talked to the sisters at the end of mass today to try and find out who he had hit so he could apologize directly to her, but the sister that he hit must not have been there, they didn't know what I was talking about. They very graciously told me that it was okay, for which I thanked them, but I told them I still want Samuel to apologize to stress the need of proper behavior and manners.
After mass we then proceeded to "the doughnut store" (a name given by my oldest son when he was two years old). A pretty good week! We are proceeding SLOWLY, SLOWLY at church but it's all staying positive for Samuel so that is good. Not so long ago I never would have imagined that we would be leaving the cry room this winter!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Church update: Success and Setback
My family attended church together this morning. The baby was able to stay home with my sister-in-law, so my husband had the luxury of making it through mass without any baby interruptions.
Samuel was able to sit in the "big church" about 5 minutes longer today than he did last week. The first time I tried taking him out he asked to stay longer! He is very restless as he sits in church, but it is so nice to see him notice his surroundings there. Our church experience the past few years has been him playing and stimming in the cry room.
He did so well all through mass, and then at Communion he went up to a lady sitting in the first row (who happens to belong to a religious order of sisters) and tapped her hat saying "Kachow!" a la Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars! She looked very surprised, I apologized and got Samuel back to the lobby as quickly as possible. I tried not to make too big a deal about it, but now I'll agonize about taking him up to Communion all this week. I'll probably take him up with me again next week and just keep a better hold on him. We tried hanging around a minute after mass so that Samuel could apologize to the sister. I should do that with him next week.
Samuel was able to sit in the "big church" about 5 minutes longer today than he did last week. The first time I tried taking him out he asked to stay longer! He is very restless as he sits in church, but it is so nice to see him notice his surroundings there. Our church experience the past few years has been him playing and stimming in the cry room.
He did so well all through mass, and then at Communion he went up to a lady sitting in the first row (who happens to belong to a religious order of sisters) and tapped her hat saying "Kachow!" a la Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars! She looked very surprised, I apologized and got Samuel back to the lobby as quickly as possible. I tried not to make too big a deal about it, but now I'll agonize about taking him up to Communion all this week. I'll probably take him up with me again next week and just keep a better hold on him. We tried hanging around a minute after mass so that Samuel could apologize to the sister. I should do that with him next week.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Some success at church last Sunday!
Just a follow up to my post last Saturday, in which I mentioned the upcoming second attempt to have Samuel in the "big church." We were able to stay in the church about 5 minutes longer than the previous Sunday! I am taking no chances, I cut our stay short well before Samuel gets too anxious. I am going with direct edible reinforcers for right now. I am expecting this to be a several year process. We'll just try to increase the time in the church each week. At some point I will go to using tokens before giving him a reinforcer, and we'll go from there! Samuel started screaming in church somewhere around 2 years ago. We have sat in the cry room since then. We have worked through him pushing other children around in there, and through him thinking that" screaming and fussing = a chance to leave and go for a walk in town"
Our family started going to church separately when my daughter was born, but for the past couple months now we have been going together. My husband takes the baby and our other 2 sons and we sit separately. Lately however, my husband and the baby and Samuel and I meet in the lobby area at some point during mass. The baby is getting at that fussy antsy age!
Our family started going to church separately when my daughter was born, but for the past couple months now we have been going together. My husband takes the baby and our other 2 sons and we sit separately. Lately however, my husband and the baby and Samuel and I meet in the lobby area at some point during mass. The baby is getting at that fussy antsy age!
Saturday, February 3, 2007
The Saturday Routine
Saturdays are usually one of my bad days. I often start with grocery shopping early in the morning. When I get home the boys are usually up, still in their pajamas, hungry, and parked in front of the TV! It then takes me all day to get on track. I like to have some kind of work session with Samuel before he gets do indulge in the computer or playstation, and that's so hard to do without making him wait until well into the afternoon. Today things were shifted a bit. I managed to get some time with Samuel before I went out to the store. The result was that the Saturday chaos just got pushed to dinner time. Oh well, at least the kids were dressed early in the day! Samuel spent more time than I would have liked on playstation. The boys watched "Cars" for about the 8th time since Christmas! I'm sure Samuel will be scripting it for days now! I spent time this morning having Samuel re-taking his science test. The test format he had at school just didn't work (45 %, and messy, messy!) so I'm typing out a version to show his teacher on Monday. The boys were asleep at about 10:00. We'll all try to go to church tomorrow morning. Wish us luck, we're on week #2 of trying to sit in the church. We've been sitting in the cry-room for almost 2 years!
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