Current Challenges and Some Fun Things

Reacting appropriately when something goes wrong is one challenge we face with Samuel. One morning last week a favorite DVD of his got scratched and he threw an absolute fit over the fact that it would not work. He came close to pushing the DVD player off the shelf it is kept upon. He hasn't done anything like that in a long time and it was quite frightening. It especially frightened my two year old daughter, who has not seen Samuel agitated to that degree recently. Our in-home helper assisted in trying to calm Samuel down. It took almost 45 minutes and it pushed everyone's school work behind that day.

Another challenge has been to keep Samuel from scripting too much. I do not have a problem with Samuel scripting from time to time, but it can get in the way of him doing things that he needs to do. Getting through a session of school work can take three or four times longer because he will not focus on his work. Sometimes I try to get his attention by holding visual aids in front of him and at other times (when there is an especially reinforcing activity to follow) I wait him out.

Appropriate behavior in public is another area of concern. Going to the library has been a good place to practise appropriate behavior. There was a time I had to stop taking him because his behavior was too disruptive. He hit a child there one time when I told him he had to stop playing on the computer. In-home helpers assisted us by going with us several times. They helped us make up a visual schedule and now, two years later, most trips go well. Recently, Samuel has started trying to talk to other children. He is curious about videos that others check out and he asks them about them. Today he tried talking to a very young girl who was playing on the computer. He just wanted to know what she was playing, but I could tell he was frightening her.

I took him out to McDonalds after the library, and as we were leaving he went to the booth next to ours and took a french fry from a young boy's lunch! I was so embarrassed! Fortunately his Mom was very understanding. Interestingly, Samuel was remorseful about it by the time we got to the car. He wanted to go back inside and apologize! I had asked him to do so while we were still inside, but he resisted. I did not want to cause any more of a scene so we did not go back in. I had already apologized to the Mom. Samuel kept talking about it for a good portion of the trip home. He wanted to know if I was going to tell his Dad about it! He is expressing remorse frequently. He will say "I'm sorry" after he has done something wrong. Sometimes he will perseverate on that remorse and get emotional (yell or cry). I tell him that it's good to be sorry and I try to remind him to think about what he is doing before he acts.

Samuel and his two year old sister have had some cute discussions lately. I have overheard them sitting together looking at his videos. She asked him about them and he seemed to like answering her questions. They also sit together in front of her dollhouse. They don't exactly play together, most of the time it is fighting over things. She gets a little possessive when she sees Samuel go to play with it. I try to redirect her away from the particular dolls and pieces that Samuel has, but of course those are THE ones she wants!

Samuel has become much more conversant lately. When we are out in public or when others arrive at our home he is very quick to say "hello!" The other day someone arrived to do a termite inspection at our house and Samuel greeted him with, "Hello, we're so glad to see you!" He also tried greeting people at the table next to ours at a restaurant, and he did so with people at church. I would like to think his motives for doing so were good, and I'm sure they were, but afterwards he told me, "Look Mom, I'm talking to strangers!" He has just read The Berenstain Bears book about strangers! I can see that we will need to do some fine tuning of Samuel's behavior in public, but I am sure glad that I can take him places now!

Auntie is visiting!

My sister-in-law has been here for the past few days. She has lots of experience working with special needs children, and of course, she loves her nephews and niece! Out of all my relatives she has been the most direct help to me and my family over the past few years. Not to minimize the tremendous help and support that other family members have been, she is just in a position to be able to visit us more frequently. She has stayed with our children the 2 other times I have gone in the hospital to have babies since Samuel came along.

Today we took all the kids to the library and then we went out to lunch. We have been using a visual schedule (which has been implemented and refined with the help of in-home services staff members) for almost 2 years with Samuel and now we are at a point where short trips to the library, a fast food restaurant, a family restaurant, the grocery store, the movies are "do-able." I have a "portable" visual schedule that I carry with us when we go out. The biggest challenge is finding optimal times to take Samuel and have the other children cared for. Having my sister-in-law here is a big help!

It was tough today because I couldn't find our library cards, so we could only get a reduced number of videotapes. Samuel had a hard time accepting that, but we had several conversations about it before we got in the library so that helped. He almost had a melt-down in the library, but I was able to calm him down by talking to him. A few years ago it was impossible to take him to the library because he only wanted to play on the computer. He would hit other children and scream when it was time to leave.

Now we use the visual schedule. When we go in the library he has to read a book to us or with us, then he gets a bit of time to look at the videos/DVDs and then he goes up to check them out. He likes to tell the librarians how to open the videos to scan them, and how they should give them to him when they are done! We don't even give him time to play on the computer at the library anymore (because now he gets to play more frequently at home) and he accepts that just fine!

My husband and I will have the luxury of going out for dinner together tonight while my sister-in-law watches the kids. This is the first "date" we will have gone on since before the baby was born 15 months ago!