Glass Half Empty/Glass Half Full

Samuel did a bit of swearing during prayer time with the family this morning./Samuel prayed appropriately a few times during prayer time this morning.

I had lots of bedding to wash this morning./Samuel got to enjoy a nice relaxing bath this morning.

My little girl needed a wardrobe change at mid-day./My little girl is almost potty trained!

I just about ran myself ragged today/We had the most productive day of school work in weeks today.

My Helper and Current Happenings

My daughter, who just turned three, is in "potty training" mode right now. About all she wants to do to "train" however, is put on a pair of underwear and then sit on her potty chair in front of her "Once Upon A Potty" DVD. Yesterday she wanted to watch it and she asked me to help her find the DVD. I looked in two places it could possibly be and it was not there. She started to panic and I was about to (because there were about 10 other things I should have been working on then and a DVD hunt in our house can be a real undertaking!) but then I remembered that I now have a helper in that regard, Samuel! Lately I have found that his memory for the location of things in our house is quite extraordinary. Before I went any further, I asked Samuel, "Do you know where her DVD is?" He walked right over to where it was, picked it up and offered to put it in the DVD player for her. Crisis averted!

A little over a month ago I became the new Vice Chairman for our county's Special Education Advisory Committee. Cut and paste this site in your browser if you want to find out more about what the role of the advisory committee is (it is copyrighted so I don't want to do a direct link): http://www.peatc.org/Fact%20Sheets/seac.pdf There is a bit of a story behind this which I will not bore you with here except to summarize it briefly. Our committee was in need of a new chairman and I helped to nominate someone that I know for the position. I was quite surprised when the previous chairman then nominated me for the position of Vice Chairman, a position that I didn't even know existed.

Here I am, a homeschooling Mom, now in the position of advising the local public school system regarding special education! This is not a place I expected to find myself in. However, this is a good thing. I am still trying to get used to the idea and am slowly learning what all is expected of me. One of the first projects I am working on is getting together some kind of a website or yahoo group that will contain information and provide a means for parents to share information and get questions answered. Nothing like that exists for our immediate local area yet. I already have a group in place for the support group at my church, but this new group will be able to reach a wider audience. Recent events have shown that this could really be helpful for parents whose children are now reaching the age of "transition" out of the public school system to adulthood. I also think it will be a valuable resource for the parents of children who are newly diagnosed, no matter what their "special need" is.

In the last 6 months I have also come across two other support groups in our area that I am hoping to become more involved with. One is run by a Christian Church. The t-ball league we participated in over the summer was run by them and they are sponsoring a bowling league. What I particularly have enjoyed about this group so far is that Samuel's siblings have been able to come along and participate. That is so helpful! I don't like to "segregate" Samuel from his siblings to participate in things, but sometimes it is necessary. I wish that I could attend more of their support group meetings for parents, but have only made it to two of them so far.

The second support group I have come across is for autism. They run 8 week parent education groups that I have not been able to participate in yet. I am hoping to be able to participate in the session that will begin this January. A social group for children goes on while the parents attend the meetings and I am hoping that Samuel will be able to participate in it, along with his younger brother. This is the closest group to me geographically that I have found for autism so far. I am already on their yahoo group and have enjoyed getting to talk to other people in my area. I attended a Sensory Integration seminar that this group hosted this past Friday and finally got to meet a few people in person! It has been awkward for me having so much to say to these folks when I haven't even met them yet. I was particularly glad to meet the facilitator of the group, who up to that point I had only talked to on-line and on the telephone.

I am trying to have Samuel involved in Special Olympics basketball as well. We attended the first practise two weeks ago. Since I did not have a physical done yet for Samuel we could not go last week. I tried taking him for a physical this week but he would not cooperate completely with his pediatrician so the form went unsigned. We will try to complete the exam the week after Thanksgiving. That reminds me, I better call the coach to inform him that we will not be there today!

I am always complaining about how busy I am and how there aren't enough hours in the day, and now that is more true than ever! I'm being forced to learn time management skills, and am trying to exercise patience more than ever. It's not easy, but I should not complain. I have opportunities before me that I should be grateful for and should take advantage of.

Mom's Taxi Lifestyle Revisited!

We've had a busy busy week! Samuel is taking part in a "camp" at the practise where he used to go for Speech Therapy way back in the days before he went to public school. It is only for a few hours, so while he is there the three other kids and I have been hanging out at a park nearby, since it's too far to come home. Then, for a couple of the afternoons we have also had parties going on and in the evenings I have had grocery shopping and a meeting to attend. Every day I have been in and out of the house two or three times. Some people live like this all the time, and I used to back in the days when Samuel went to school. I went crazy then and I am going crazy now. I have gotten used to being a homebody! Not that I want to be a recluse or anything, I just can't take the multiple trips in and out of the house all day. At least it's just for this week!

Watching Television, Education Challenges

One of Samuel's favorite activities is watching television. Watching Samuel watch television can be kind of entertaining too! I took these photos on a recent lazy Sunday morning. When certain advertisements or shows appear on the screen, Samuel will cover his ears and recently I have heard him singing while he is covering his ears. Then, if the visual images get to be too much he will run out of the family room.

The first signs of Samuel having odd behavior while watching television were when he was two years old. He had watched "Arthur" for months, but one day when it came on the screen he ran out of the family room screaming and crying. It was several years before he could watch it on television again. It's not that he doesn't like the things he is seeing or hearing; this is what he does for the things he likes, but I guess he just doesn't know how to handle the pleasure that it brings him!

I'm still struggling with my increased teaching responsibilities this fall. I'm continuing the ABLLS assessment. My attempts at finding consultant help aren't going as well as I had hoped. One contact will not return my phone calls, another is way too expensive, and another wants me to go to a Dr. Carbone workshop. That's all well and good, but kind of difficult right now when the only ones I see on the schedule entail travelling out of the area and probably mean an overnight stay. I'm also dealing, really for the first time.. teaching Samuel some new concepts. Besides Samuel's different behavior, this is the first real struggle I have had with trying to work with him at home. I have to remember that there will be a lot of trial and error and that I shouldn't let a few challenges get me down!

Our rite of spring and other things

The arrival of spring is affecting the members of our family in various ways. My husband is suffering from seasonal allergies now more than in the twelve years I have known him. I'm suffering a bit as well. The worst is still probably a few weeks away. It usually gets to the point that I cannot wear eye makeup for several weeks, which will occur some time around Memorial Day Weekend (the end of May). Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it does make me a bit groggy.

Samuel has become much more withdrawn the past few weeks. This is probably due to a variety of things, only one of which is the change in season. I'm still carefully monitoring his computer activity, both for quantity and quality. His latest obsession is to use Writing With Symbols to type in words. After doing this he uses the speech function on the software and listens to the words being spoken. One evening I caught him typing words off the collection of videos he was carrying around that day. He also types in character names from favorite TV shows, and tonight he asked me to type in "Klasky Csupo" (the producers of Nickelodeon shows like Rugrats). I was amazed that the software speech pronounced it correctly! I probably shouldn't encourage this activity too much, but I like to let him have a little bit of fun in his day, even if it is quirky.

I have re-started Samuel's religion lessons at home. The children his age are going to be making their First Communion next weekend. I had thought at the beginning of the school year that he would join them, but our lessons at home became a bit sporadic when I started focusing on school academics over the winter. I also decided to have Samuel wait because of his behavior in church. I am hopeful that it will improve the next few years. Samuel is interested in God and in religion, so I am very grateful for that. He thinks about heaven alot and asks me questions about it:

"Mom, where is Grandma?" "She is in heaven, Samuel." "Can she come back?" "No, she cannot come back" "I don't want to go to heaven!" "We all want to go there someday Samuel. You probably won't go there for a while yet."

He has decided that the dreamy scenes in a Disney vacation-planning DVD we received are heaven. He asks "Mom, can you come back from heaven to go to Disney World?"

Another favorite topic of late for Samuel is area businesses. A restaurant we frequented years ago went out of business (well, I'm assuming it went out of business) and was replaced by another restaurant a few months later. When we drive by it the questions start.."Mom, why did the G__________ go out of business?" "It might have gone out of business because they didn't sell enough food." "I want to go to the G_______________!" "We can't, it is no longer there. Now it is The S_________________". As we drive into town on Sunday mornings for church he asks us to notify him whether businesses are open or closed.

I e-mailed the school principal over the weekend asking about the portable question. She tried calling me back while I was out this morning, so now we're playing phone tag.

Development Delays

Some thoughts I have regarding our area’s changes in geography and some pictures to go along with them…

I happen to live in an area that is experiencing a lot of development. In the next 3 months, about 3 ½ miles from my house, we will have a Target and later this year we will have a WalMart. We will also be getting one of the chain restaurants (Applebees, I think), and at least one home improvement chain store. Currently we have to drive about 15 miles to the nearest ones. As with just about anything in life, there are benefits to this and there are costs.

Benefits of development: Shopping for groceries, household necessities, and clothing will be easier. I’m also hoping for a pizza place that delivers. That might sound trivial, but it’s an adjustment for me to live somewhere that I can’t have a pizza delivered to my house!

Costs of development: Traffic will increase along the major road we use to get into town. In 3.5 miles of main road we travel on, 2 new traffic lights will be in operation within the next few months, a new traffic light was put into operation last year, and another is planned within the next year or so. Where we used to have 2 traffic lights we will eventually have 6. Not that our area has ever been “rural” while we lived here, but all the traffic and other development that is going to eventually take place along the main road will bring more of the urban sprawl that many of us who moved here are trying to avoid.

I do have another option for my driving route into town, but it is not always available. It involves driving over a low bridge that crosses the Shenandoah River. After heavy rains or during periods when snow is melting it floods.

I’ll compare my two driving options:

Option A (driving along the main road) is a ten mile drive that takes about 20 minutes. There are 2 bridges over the forks of the Shenandoah River to take, and 10 traffic lights.
Option B (over the low water bridge) is about an 8 mile drive that takes 13 minutes. There are no (zero!) traffic lights, but this option is available only when the Shenandoah river's water level isn't high. It is a one-lane bridge, as the picture just below shows. This bridge is frequently covered with water after heavy rain or when snow is melting.

The rhythm of my day is very much defined by having to drive Samuel in to school, driving home, then later in the day returning to school, driving home again. (Why I drive him in is a story for another time) All of this is done with my other 3 children in tow. While I currently can easily attach small grocery shopping trips to the trips I take into town to get Samuel from school, shopping for other household necessities is difficult, considering I have to spend my day teaching and caring for my other children. I do most of my clothing shopping on-line, I cannot even imagine what it would be like to have a retail clothing location within 5 miles of my house.

While I am willing to sacrifice a little of the quietness of our area for an increase in shopping convenience, I don’t yet quite know what to think of the increase in traffic this will bring. I wonder what I’ll think a year from now, when most of the new shops should be open and the new lights in operation.

Two of the new traffic lights, to be put into operation soon.

A whole new golf course, adult community, and hotel/conference center is also being built along the same 3 1/2 mile stretch of road where the Target and Walmart stores are going to be. It has been a little sad watching the rolling hills that this area used to be get stripped, turned into a golf course, and now watching homes and townhomes getting built on it. The hotel just started going up in the last couple weeks where the large crane is pictured.

The best-laid plans of Moms and Dads often....

...get blown out of the water!

We all planned to go to Easter morning mass together. I carefully laid out everyone's clothes the night before (including the adorable pastel-floral flouncy dress for the baby, with her new white shoes and cardigan, along with my now 3 year old outfit - I refuse to buy myself any new church clothes until I lose some weight!). All children were bathed and put to bed at a decent hour. My husband awoke about 15 minutes before my alarm clock was due to ring (I wouldn't have to wake him up, unimaginable happiness on my part!). I woke the boys up and dressed them. Samuel was a bit unhappy that we were ALL going to mass. He has gotten used to just the two of us going. After a few minutes, however, he was okay with the idea.

We were now down to 15 minutes before departure time. All I had to do was wake the baby up, feed her, and dress her. When I opened the door to her room I noticed a strange odor. She had thrown up in her crib the night before! After a quick re-strategizing session with my husband ("Honey, looks like you'll be going to church without baby girl, Samuel, and me"), I had to explain to Samuel that our plans had changed.

Once again, I was thankful that I had EWTN, on which I could watch Easter mass. It certainly is not the same thing as being at mass, but it is the next best thing when you cannot go. What was awesome was that the priest celebrating mass, Fr. Francis Mary, started off his homily (sermon) by remembering everyone who was home-bound that day. That made me feel a bit better!

The baby threw up 3 more times that morning and I was so afraid that I had made a big mistake in letting the rest of my family go to church, thinking they would either get sick or spread whatever was probably going to go around the rest of the family. My husband and I didn't feel particularly well, but nobody else got sick the rest of the day. I wonder if perhaps the baby just had a bad reaction to the strange combination of foods she had eaten while we were travelling the day before.

I spent much of my day doing laundry to clean up the messes the baby had made. I never did cook our Easter dinner, and we didn't get around to doing our family Easter Egg Hunt until early in the evening. Baby girl is my first baby that we did not have to teach egg hunting to! As soon as we put her in the room we had "hidden" her eggs she went right to them! Then as the boys did their hunting she busily followed them around trying to find more eggs as well!

We watched a wonderful show on the Discovery Channel which, I believe, started airing in just the past few weeks. It's an 11-part mini-series called Planet Earth. We watched the "Shallow Seas" and "Great Plains" episodes last night. It's on a bit late for all my children to stay up, but I let my oldest son watch it. I highly recommend checking it out, the footage of animal life is amazing, I've never seen anything like it!

I have changed my "display name," so when I visit you I will now be "LAA and Family." I have made this change because I have started helping my oldest son post a blog of his interests. After we completed the first post I saw "posted by Mom Embracing Autism" and that sounds a bit strange for a boy to be signing with. Besides, although "embracing autism" is a term that very much defines my life right now, there is a lot more to me than that. "Mom Embracing Autism" is a good title for this blog, my "identity" needs to cover a bit more than that!

Baby girl will have to make her debut in her new dress another day!

Appreciating My Husband

Often overshadowed by St. Patrick's Day is the even greater feast during the month of March in the Catholic church, St. Joseph Day on March 19. St. Joseph is the patron, role model, and advocate in heaven for fathers.

In light of the occasion, I took a few minutes yesterday to think of my husband's relationship with our children. While my husband has half-siblings, he grew up as an only child in his parent's household. Because of this I think he is sometimes a bit overwhelmed having 4 children in the house as we do. I think he remembers "home" being a much quieter place than what ours has become! He seems to do best dealing with the children one-on-one, though tonight he took on all 4 while I attended a Special Education Advisory Committee Meeting for our county. He deserves a lot of credit for keeping a baby girl who thinks she is entitled to be attached to Mommy 24 hours a day and has recently discovered the joy of cookies and the ability to ask for them (that is all she says ALL DAY - "gook", rhymes with "book").

Go-kart racing has become the family hobby in the past year. So far only my husband and oldest son participate, but the plan is for this to change as the next two boys get older. It is looking as though racing will be the venue for all of us to be involved in something together. There are plans to involve Samuel this year by letting him try driving. Then next year our youngest son will start.

We don't know what to expect with Samuel. I cannot picture him following the necessary rules to participate, but he could always surprise us! Perhaps if he cannot drive then he could help with mechanical things as time goes on. I'm guessing I will eventually be the fan club and event family organizer. Maybe our baby girl will drive some day too! With any luck I'll at least get to see my oldest son in a race this year, but I don't expect the entire family to be involved for several years yet. I might be kicking and screaming when I do get involved, but I want to act according to what everyone in the family enjoys.

My husband and I bring our own strengths into the family. I sometimes complain about how we don't "work together" enough, but I am grateful for his unique personality and outlook on life. He is much better at bringing fun activity in for the boys than I am, especially as they get older. Dealing with Samuel, and two additional babies since he was diagnosed, has taken its toll on me in that regard, I'm just too tired during and at the end of the day to care about much else beyond the little world of child rearing that I live in. A short trip during Easter and a Disney World vacation are being planned and all I can think of so far is how difficult they will be! If it was up to me I'd probably just spend the next few years catching up on housework. Thank goodness my husband won't let that happen.

Time Change Blues

Last Saturday night I had the pleasure of attending a baby shower held for two wonderful women in my circle of friends. One of them is expecting baby #6 and the other baby #9! Amongst my friends I actually have a relatively small family! I had told myself ahead of time that I would not stay late since we would be losing an hour of sleep that night due to the change to daylight savings time. I was so busy eating, drinking, and being merry however, that before I knew it, it was 10:30pm! (Really 11:30!) I didn't even bother trying to get up the next morning. I allowed myself to sleep in until I awoke, whatever time that was.

I was up pretty late Sunday night, actually into the wee hours of Monday morning. I was preparing food to take to some neighbors and one of my pregnant friends for the following evening's dinner. As a result of being up so late (or so early depending on how you look at it) I overslept yesterday morning as well! I didn't wake up until the sun was starting to come up.

So this morning, the third morning after the time change, is the first time that I experienced just how dark it is at my normal wake-up time! Whose "wisdom" resulted in changing the time so early this year?!!!! Don't they remember all the problems we had back in the 70s when this was tried and children were going to school in the dark? I know that one of the reasons for the earlier change is to conserve energy, but aren't we offsetting that by needing to have all the lights on when we get up in the morning?

This was also the first morning my children experienced having to get up in the dark. They did okay, but Samuel was a bit perturbed because I had him wear short sleeves. We go through this every season change. Samuel doesn't like switching from long sleeves to short and vice versa. The worst change is when he goes from long pants to short pants. He never did quite get accustomed to that last summer.