Bad Court Decision in California

This isn't right.

Evidently this court in California has forgotten about a certain seven letter word that we Americans value very highly: F-R-E-E-D-O-M. It's a sad day when courts start messing with the rights of parents who, the last time I checked, have the primary responsibility of raising their own children!

Watching Television, Education Challenges

One of Samuel's favorite activities is watching television. Watching Samuel watch television can be kind of entertaining too! I took these photos on a recent lazy Sunday morning. When certain advertisements or shows appear on the screen, Samuel will cover his ears and recently I have heard him singing while he is covering his ears. Then, if the visual images get to be too much he will run out of the family room.

The first signs of Samuel having odd behavior while watching television were when he was two years old. He had watched "Arthur" for months, but one day when it came on the screen he ran out of the family room screaming and crying. It was several years before he could watch it on television again. It's not that he doesn't like the things he is seeing or hearing; this is what he does for the things he likes, but I guess he just doesn't know how to handle the pleasure that it brings him!

I'm still struggling with my increased teaching responsibilities this fall. I'm continuing the ABLLS assessment. My attempts at finding consultant help aren't going as well as I had hoped. One contact will not return my phone calls, another is way too expensive, and another wants me to go to a Dr. Carbone workshop. That's all well and good, but kind of difficult right now when the only ones I see on the schedule entail travelling out of the area and probably mean an overnight stay. I'm also dealing, really for the first time.. teaching Samuel some new concepts. Besides Samuel's different behavior, this is the first real struggle I have had with trying to work with him at home. I have to remember that there will be a lot of trial and error and that I shouldn't let a few challenges get me down!

Assessment Time

This past week marked the end of the first quarter of third grade for Samuel. As I have been saying, I have put a lot of time into preparing lessons and working with Samuel. I really need some direction and guidance on where to take Samuel's school work from here. I just got the "ABLLS", Assessment of Basic Language and Learning Skills and will be slowly doing this assessment on Samuel over the next few weeks. I heard this assessment mentioned by a friend of mine years ago, but I never had it done on Samuel. Now I can't believe that it has taken me so long to check it out!

I am hopeful that the assessment results and (hopefully!) obtaining the help of a consultant will give me some good direction. The last thing I want is for him to get bored or frustrated!

I'd love to hear what assessments others have had their children do, and what you think of it.

Some Bumps in the Road and a Difficult Transition For Me

Since last Thursday, things have gotten a bit more difficult with teaching Samuel at home. Last Friday and Monday we did five different periods of working at the kitchen table (FIVE different periods EACH DAY, that is). I think it was Monday that he finally lost his patience. He was starting to complain each time he had to sit at the table. He would not comply, so I started "waiting him out" . When I do this, I stop prompting him to pay attention except to occasionally say "I am waiting, are you ready to work?" Or I might say "You let me know when you are ready to work." Other times I just ignore him and then he will eventually say "Okay, I'm ready." This can be hard to do if I have something else that needs to be done and I end up waiting for many minutes at a time. In this case, we had a few 30 minute sessions at the table and one that was 45 minutes (15 minutes is the target). One of our sessions got moved up to his bedroom when he started throwing things and clearing the table. He had been scripting heavily and would not focus on his work.

Yesterday I decided to reduce the amount of work and I gave him easier tasks. There were no meltdowns so I was happy about that. I suppose I should make changes to Samuel's schedule a little more gradually. Not only did I increase the volume of work significantly, but we have new material we are covering as well. We've went from working at the table one time per day to repeated times working at the table. Why should I be surprised that he's having a hard time with that?!

As far as the material we are covering, I am finding that I still need to alter the way I present material to him. I had thought the first grade level workbooks I bought him were formatted in such a way (larger type, nice pictures, etc) that I wouldn't need to alter them. However, he still seems to be distracted by (or somehow unable to process) what he sees in the textbook. All part of the trial and error process I'm going through to come up with what is best for him!

Samuel has been very moody this past week. He has burst into tears a few times. One time was while he was watching "The Backyardigans". My other two sons were watching it as well. We tried asking Samuel why he was upset but his answers didn't make any sense. All we could figure was that it was a new episode of the show that he had not seen yet, or perhaps the music in the show contributed. He did not leave the room, which is what he usually does when he doesn't like what is on television.

It's not easy keeping up with all three boys and their schoolwork! I'm trying to grade and file away their work each day. I also write out a list of the next day's work. At the end of the day I review it, write in a score for their work, if appropriate. I have been teaching one child at home for the past 6 six years; now I have three children to teach! My little girl wants to be in on the action at the table too, so there has to be activity ready for her as well.

Our in-home helpers have been helpful by keeping Samuel occupied while he is not at the table doing his schoolwork. They help during his work time by being seated strategically at the table so he cannot run away!

I'm attempting to meet with the in-home service providers we used to have to arrange for some private consultation regarding Samuel's behavior. This isn't an easy time of year to meet with them, with school just beginning. They are very busy.

Three Days Under Our Belt

After three days of teaching two of my sons at home (actually, the first two days I also did some lessons for my oldest son too), I am quite wiped out! Every day has felt like a marathon race! The first day was the craziest. I had mapped out a schedule for the day that included times. Whenever I do something like that I get very frustrated. While it's good to make a plan, I need to remember that it may not necessarily reflect reality. It took me until the morning of the second day to remember that my plan was a starting point, from which changes can be made.

In spite of how tired I feel, everything is going well so far. Samuel seems to like the books I got for him. He is using a reader that is styled like a Dick and Jane book. He has never really cared for them, but he seems interested in this book. He looks very carefully at the illustrations and I make sure to refer to them as we read the story. I am re-typing one of his religion books on "Writing With Symbols". So far what we are reading is a review, but he is very interested in it. I'll elaborate more on other subjects later.

My kindergartner is my most challenging student! Every time I call him for a lesson he protests! This lasts for a minute or so and then I somehow convince him to cooperate and then he's fine after that.

I have been sticking to my plan of approximately 15 minute lessons for each child at a time. The last two days I have been able to do 4 sessions of work with Samuel. In addition to that he is being read to several times per day, both by me and by our in-home helper. While this might not sound like much time, this is a big increase from the amount of time we spent on work over the summer each day, AND HE IS ACCEPTING THE INCREASE AND IS COOPERATING! During each work session we cover two or three subjects. One thing I can do immediately to improve is to be better prepared early in the morning so that I'm not spending my day planning the next session of work. As time goes on I will either increase the number of work sessions we do or will make each session longer. Perhaps I'll do a combination of these two things.

My kindergartner started soccer today. He was not very eager to participate but hopefully his attitude will improve by next week. His oldest brother will play starting next week.

School this Fall for Samuel

My husband and I have given much thought to this matter. We have decided to withdraw Samuel from school and teach him at home this year. There are several reasons we want to do this, let's see if I can explain it concisely:


1) Homeschooling is my first choice in how I would like my children to be educated. I want to raise my own children and teach them to live their lives according to our Catholic faith. This can't be taught to them in a school run by the government where they can't even talk about God.

2) I am concerned about Samuel's behavior and I am afraid it will get worse by having him in school. In my opinion there are too many limits in the school setting that prevent the flexibility that is needed to deal with Samuel's outbursts. I met with Samuel's teacher several times last year to talk about his behavior. After several meetings they made a few changes, but not to the degree that I wanted. I just don't have the time to keep meeting and begging and pleading with the school to do what I think is best for my child. The input needed is way too high in proportion to the output that I get. For right now I'm better off using my energy directly on Samuel. I can also better monitor his progress when he is home with me.

3) I want Samuel to be with his family. He noticed last year that he was sent off while the others stayed home and he didn't like it. Samuel is part of our family. Our family's life includes him and all that goes along with it. I am fortunate that I have a good starting point from which to teach him.

I met with Samuel's special education teacher and the principal of his school today. I requested the meeting because I wanted to be sure they understood how much I appreciated their help over the past few years. I am glad that I sent Samuel to public school the years that I did. I told the teacher that there were complaints I had and that I would write to the school and the Director of Special Education to let them know, but I wasn't there today to talk to them about that. It was hard going in to talk to them about this, but I am glad I did it. They told me a bit about an upcoming autism program in the schools that sounds like it will incorporate more parent involvement. I hope it will be successful. While some parents are happy with how school is going for their children, most feel unhappy with it. I also got to see the new special education classroom; it's about 3 times the size of the room they had last year. I am going to take Samuel in next week to say goodbye to his teachers and his aid. That will be heartbreaking, his aid is so nice and I know she really liked working with Samuel.

In other news, I have been able to get 30 hours per week of in-home help with Samuel through a medicaid waiver. I am hoping to eventually get 2 to 3 dependable helpers. As of today I have one who has been able to help consistently and it has been wonderful. It is such a relief to be able to have hours and hours where Samuel is being guided appropriately in his activities and I am free to get some things done around the house. I am able to take Samuel and his siblings out for errands and other outings more easily, and I have been able to leave Samuel at home with the helper, which makes it easier when I take the other children with me on errands.