This post began as a reply to "Mother of Many"s comment to my last post. It got a little bit long, however, so I decided to make it a separate post. Thank you "A"!
When Samuel first started school four and a half years ago I felt relieved every day when I took him. I felt like he was where he should be and almost immediately we saw good results. I also was freed from the worry that he was not doing anything productive at home, and I was able to give better attention to my older son, who was in kindergarten at the time.
Even now, I have to admit that it is easier to run errands and do certain things when Samuel is in school. (However, I now have 3 other children in tow so it's not as easy as it used to be!) This past school year, however, I started to find that I felt better the days Samuel stayed home. He seems happier at home and I am at a point now where I have more knowledge about how to keep him better occupied with his time. It's not perfect, and my days are impossibly busy (which they are anyways because I homeschool and have the other children), but I truly enjoy having him home now. It used to be the days he was sick or school was cancelled I would think, "Oh, no!" Now I think, "Good!"
My sister-in-law, who is a Services Coordinator for children with Developmental Disabilities in New York, said she came across some information in a conference that studies have found the inclusion setting at school does not always work for autistic children. I am trying to get her to give me the information but I don't have it yet. I suppose I could try researching it myself as well. I'd like to know what alternative they suggest. I am beginning to think that the stress that inclusion causes Samuel does not offset the benefit of the social contacts that he has. Samuel is a smart little guy but I don't think the best environment for his learning is necessarily a classroom full of other children. Samuel's Dad never did well in a classroom setting either. He was moved from school to school as a child. As an adult in college he also had difficulties sitting in a classroom listening to lectures. He claims that the classroom setting was only comfortable for him when the class had a discussion format. I'm wondering if we're dealing with the same kind of thing with Samuel.
It is my hope that we can find the best kind of setting for Samuel to learn in. I don't want to fight against his nature to make him "fit" in a classroom setting. When I say that inclusion may not be the answer, I am not necessarily saying that I want him to be in a self-contained classroom setting. Not, if it is just another form of sitting at a desk or table and listening to someone talk.
8 comments:
School, for all three of my kids fills me with an unbearble anxiety rooted in feeling like a failure.
I did all my "running" when the kids were at school too. It is easier. Junior liked school. Next year--kindergarten--will be a horror for me. I am terrified.
Homeschoo;ing looks better all the time.
I'm probably repeating myself here, but as far as school goes, I'm currently frustrated with the amount of "fighting" I have to do with them, and then they don't follow up as we agree. I know that they have a lot to keep up with. I have a lot of respect for teachers and for the teaching profession, my frustration lies with "the system".. how things are done.
Homeschooling is not easy. When undertaking it you are committing yourself to a certain lifestyle that (at least in my case) a lot of people you are close to don't understand. It's a lifestyle that is very different from the culture that is mainstream in our society right now. It's a lifestyle that I certainly did not grow up with. I have to sacrifice a lot of my free time and my personal interests. I'm willing to do it because I want what is best for my children in their education. I don't want them to grow up placing more importance in what their peers think than the values that their family wants them to grow up with. Both my husband and I were unhappy in school (but we both love learning) and I don't want my children to experience that. Some day they will have to be in a school or classroom setting of some sort (the children that I've always homeschooled that is) but for right now I think home is the best place for them to have their education done.
How's it going having Samuel home full time??
I too am tired of the system. My eldest got hurt at school yesterday and I didn't even get a note home in his bag. Why??? According to him it was dealt with - time out in the office - the other kid tripped him - deliberate or not I don't know and at that age????, that's better than nothing.
He'll stay. He's doing well even without support b/c of the extras I send him to outside of school.
The little one... I just don't know. We don't want to send him to a PDD class. We know he's smart just not chatty. Just watch him use electronics, or read a story to you. His full time support that I was promised.. is going to be part. I REFUSE to sign anything that says I'm ok with this on Thurs at the meeting.
Lots to think about next year.
S.
Hi S, Things are going quite well with Samuel at home. The first 2 days he was out of school my husband and eldest son were away. I planned out several sessions of activity for him those days and he accepted doing things nicely. Sunday he had lots more time to himself. Now we have 3 hours per morning of in-home help during the week. He's not too happy to see our helper first thing when he comes downstairs, but he works with her so much better than he did during his 3 hour sessions AFTER a full day of school!
My parents visited early this week, which is always a little hard for Samuel, but he did better with them during this visit than any other visit in recent times. I'll elaborate more soon.
I know for a fact that Samuel's school has a policy with teachers (AND some students have been told ) "What happens at school stays at school." Now, for professional reasons I can understand that policy for staff to a certain degree. However, this has led to things like the aids not being allowed to talk to me about things that have happened with Samuel. I do not care for that one bit. I depend on teachers and staff to communicate with me so that I know how and what Samuel is doing! It sounds like that was a bit of the case with the situation with your son.
The "stay in school" stuff happens here too. The EA let slip that they cannot help direct the parent to get services even though they are part of the system and should be offering that help.
Isn't the school suppose to help the children?? Not use their policies against them... ie. Don't tell the parent that if they got a dx they could get services?? Don't tell the parent what their legal rights are??
Most days the only note I get home from my little one is "R had a good day at school today". I have asked and asked "what did the SLP work on". "What are you working on at school so I can do it at home". Both kids. Nada. Now my tutor and I just work on skills we know my eldest needs to learn. And the little is taking his turn at speach camp this summer. Elder bro has gone summer and during the weekends over the last few years.
S.
I researched homeschooling very thoroughly and realized that for my family, it was not the best thing.
However, I think for many people it's a great thing to do.
Now that he's older, who knows? Especially in middle school or high school.
If you feel ready to do it, go for it! Good for you!
I discovered that I can't put mine in the PDD classroom. Might be able to in Gr 4. But it's only for the VERY upper, VERY sensory sensitive, group.
So much for getting extra help there.
Lots to think about.
S.
Found my way here through A Bishop's Wife. I am the mom of a son on the spectrum. We chose not to have my son start early intervention preschool and did speech therapy at home in the early days. It just seemed like school wasn't the best choice for him. I considered home schooling, but it wouldn't work for us as a family.
Like other commenters, I too get so tired of fighting with the school district. And so angry that they would rather spend money hiring lawyers than give my son the services he needs.
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