Examiner.com: Autism: 8 rules for the road for parents of newly diagnosed children

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Much of this list seems like common sense to me now, but it sure would have been nice to have something this concise to refer to 7 1/2 years ago when Samuel was diagnosed.

Autism: 8 rules for the road for parents of newly diagnosed children

Print this out and post it on your refrigerator! 1) GET HELP. Contact your local regional center and make use of their EXTENSIVE resources that include assessment, diagnosis, referrals and counseling, just to name a few. The...

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I would like to elaborate a little on #8 in the list:

Besides Facebook, find other ways to network with other parents whose children have also been diagnosed with autism. Networking can be in your local area, in your region, or through something on-line like Facebook or blogging. Other parents going through circumstances like yours can be a great source of practical information and support.

Worth Celebrating!

Due to my oldest son's racing activities, every now and then I find myself without my husband around Sunday mornings when it is time to go to church. I am happy to say that this morning Samuel, his sister, and I all successfully made it through mass, on our first attempt! I made sure to give Samuel advance notice about how things would happen. I usually have to sit with him separately from the rest of the family; he gets distracted and agitated with his siblings around. The only other time I tried this was when I had one of his brothers with us, Samuel did not care for it. We had some close calls this morning: he loves to tease his sister and one time he started getting agitated when I asked him to change the position he was sitting in. I tackled these challenges by giving Samuel some words of encouragement and a few hugs and thankfully it helped.

To celebrate our success we went out for breakfast, with more good results! That was no small feat either, with a very tempting gift shop to maneuver through as we entered and exited! (Can you guess what restaurant I might be talking about!?)

Happy "Remake of 2009"!

Where on earth did Christmas and New Year's Day go!? They went by in such a flash and I feel like I barely got to savor any of it! In spite of the rushed feeling, however, we had a great time. The kids and I took a much-needed two week break from school work. It has been a few years since I have "officially" done this. Having time to devote to baking, cookie decorating, and even some ornament making was so much nicer than trying to cram it in between lessons.

Samuel, in his "life is all about DVDs and VHS tapes" style, is refusing to acknowledge the new year as 2010, but instead is calling it "The Remake of 2009." As he looked at his calendar last week he said things like, "The original 2009 is ending. January 1st is the start of the Remake of 2009!"

One of a few nice surprises that have come up with Samuel recently are that we have been able to take him to different masses at church with mostly nice results. For a while I only felt comfortable taking him to one particular mass that did not have music. In the past month he has been able to endure not only music, but also the priest who he had been quite afraid of. I still have to take him out for a "break" during the homily so it is hard for me to ever get to hear it. It seems that he can take the noise in the church when it is in the form of prayers and readings he is familiar with, but when a priest gets up and talks more freely during the homily (sometimes with very heartfelt emotion), it is more than he can handle. He is even more sensitive in the vestibule area, where the speaker volume is often very high, so we usually have to retreat to the stairwell of the church building. It's all a part of the long road we're travelling on to teach Samuel the importance of God and of his faith in his life. Samuel will be making his First Penance and First Communion this year, and I am so grateful that for going on three years now I have been able to take him into the church and sit with him for a good portion of mass each week.

An even more recent surprise with Samuel is that he has become much more accepting of eating the foods I prepare for the entire family at dinner time. For years I had to have a back-up dinner for Samuel, and often for his younger siblings as well. This past year I tried to have the kids eat what I prepared instead of having to make another meal, it just got to be too much to have to make 2 and sometimes 3 entrees. The rest of the kids went along quite well, but it was always tough with Samuel. In the last few weeks however there were some days I just didn't feel like going through the trouble of preparing anything else and I just put a plate in front of Samuel. Much to my surprise he actually ate what I served! I have found that casserole-type entrees go over the best for him. He does not seem to like eating meat. He is tolerating pasta much better now as well.

Best wishes for a terrific 2010!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I would like to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving! It will be a quiet one for us this year. For the first time that I can recall, it will be just our immediate family. We are usually treated to the culinary talents of a good friend, but he was not able to join us this year. My husband does not particularly care for turkey, so I will instead roast a chicken and serve it with a few of the typical side dishes: mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes..

I have not posted in a while, but we are all doing well. We went on a two week vacation in October and I am still "catching up" from that. So, I am very thankful today for the quiet time that we are able to spend together.



Samuel continues to make leaps in his school work with reading and spelling. His handwriting seems to have made some improvements lately too. I continue to place dots on the paper where he should start his letters ( something that is done in Handwriting Without Tears) and he is doing better at properly placing them within the lines. At the same time, we are challenged by him being "in his own world" with his VHS tapes. He constantly talks about them, doing "reviews" like he watches on You Tube videos. He continues to be motivated to do his school work by checklists that reward him with a purchase of a VHS tape.



I wish everyone the best with the upcoming Holiday Season, especially those whose children with autism may have a difficult time. The Autism Society and other organizations are good about giving tips for how to deal with the holidays, so be sure to check those out when you have a moment!



I'm going to be traveling with my two youngest children for a quick visit to my parents this weekend. I'm trying to prepare Samuel for our separation, the first since I went into the hospital to have my youngest child four years ago. Later in December I plan to visit my parents again with all four children. Both of these occasions will require some planning ahead. I'll let you know how it goes!

The photo: This mountainous stack of videos is one of the many ways Samuel goes about organizing them as he "reviews" them. Another variation is for him to stack them according to who produced them, for example.. Nickelodeon, Universal Studios, etc..

Rethinking Autism: Autistics Speak

This is great to see.. an organization/website that wants the attitude about autism that is presented in the media to show more respect and dignity towards those individuals who have autism.

It was 2 1/2 years ago that I wrote a post expressing my dissatisfaction about how autism was being portrayed in the media.

The Tough Reality of Consequences

I wrote this back on August 26, but forgot to post it!


Samuel has had a tough time at his last two Occupational Therapy sessions. Last week he would not cooperate with his therapist when it was time for him to use Wii. All Samuel wanted to do was go into the "settings" menu. (At home he erased all the data we had accumulated the first month we owned it while he played around in the "settings" menu.. so it's not a good thing for him to be there!) His therapist had already endured several sessions of this, so last week she decided that no more would be tolerated, his opportunity to play Wii would be lost once he did not comply with her request to stay out of "settings." Their session ended early. Samuel was upset, but he was over it by the time I picked him up at the scheduled ending time.

Yesterday, Samuel never even got together with the therapist to start the session. Over several days prior to the session and on the way in the car, I had talked with Samuel about how it was important to play Wii as his therapist requested, by staying out of the "settings" menu. This caused him to become a bit agitated. Then, as we were waiting in the reception area, he tried getting on to the computer located there. He has learned how to get into the DOS menu on computers (thanks You Tube!) and has already wrought havoc on the entire office's computer system. Stopping him from getting to the computer caused further agitation. He began to yell and throw toys so I told him we would have to leave the office until he could be calm. A few minutes later the therapist joined us outside, where Samuel was still upset. I gave him a few minutes to calm down and his therapist brought a container of rice for him to play with. He still didn't calm down and then he started throwing the rice on the ground.

The next step was to take him to the car to calm down. I gave him five minutes to become calm. I tried giving him some "sensory toys" that I had stashed in my purse, but they were not helpful. Ultimately, we had to call it a day and had to agree that we would try again next week. He was then upset because not partipating in Occupational Therapy meant that the soda I usually get for him afterwards was not available. It took about another 10 minutes for Samuel to calm down enough that I felt safe driving home with him. He apologized within an hour after getting home and has done so again several times today.

What will I do differently next time? I am thinking about setting up some kind of sticker chart or token system that he will have to fill in in order to "earn" his soda after OT next week. I am going to call the therapist and see how many activities we should place on the chart, and determine within what parameters he will "earn" the sticker for each activity. I will also make up a social story for him to read. It seems the "verbal only" method of talking to him about the problem isn't working very well! I am also going to offer him more verbal encouragement ("I know that you can earn all of your stickers!" "Won't if feel great to show Miss M____ how well you can do your Wii exercises?")

Since then we have had two successful therapy sessions! The sticker chart is helping out and his therapist really likes having it. Samuel is happy that he is earning and able to get something he really likes.

Success with Spelling

Samuel has made a big leap in his spelling! He has shown that he is able to correctly spell words with consonant digraphs! He has revisited this issue in his spelling over the last 2 years. Occasionally words like "what," "why," "this," would make their way into his spelling list. After a week or so of practising he would still have a problem with the digraphs.

What has changed this? I credit the change mostly to phonics exercises he has been doing on "Time 4 Learning," an on-line curriculum. It is amazing to watch how much more easily Samuel speeds through work on a computer rather than struggling with worksheets and books.