Skittle-free at Church!

I am very happy to be able to say that Samuel made it through mass this morning without me giving him any Skittles whatsoever! He didn't even ask for them, and I didn't even realize that this had happened until a few hours after we got home! Not that I would say that Samuel did the best that he has ever done at mass today; he was quite inattentive and I could tell that his thoughts were elsewhere. That's okay though, the first hurdle that I knew we had to get over was for Samuel to be able to sit through mass without any outbursts.

At the beginning of dealing with this, a year and a half ago when we first started sitting in the church (instead of behind closed doors in the "cry room"), my method was to give him a Skittle (fruit-flavored candy that looks like "M&Ms") every few seconds that he was quiet. In the past few months he had progressed to just getting 3 or 4 Skittles during the homily (sermon). Today, I took Samuel out of the church for a short break during the homily. Fortunately, our pastor's voice projects quite nicely to the outside of the church so I could hear his homily without a problem while Samuel had a few minutes to walk around. Samuel really seemed to be needy of sensory things, so I gave him lots of hugs and squeezes, and let him sit on my lap for very short amounts of time.

Samuel is very interested in religion. I would say his knowledge and interest is like that of a neurotypical 4 or 5 year old. He likes Bible stories like The Creation Story, Noah and the Flood, the life of Jesus. He also likes looking at all the stained glass and statues in our church.

We are just finishing a kindergarten level religion book for him, and I'm looking forward to future religion lessons that start to teach him about all that is going on in the mass. I think he is ready to learn about it now that he does so much better about sitting in church. I am hoping that he will be able to receive his First Communion two years from now (the same year that his younger brother will). He may not be able to receive his First Communion in the same mass that his peers do, but I am hopeful that at that time he will have a much better understanding and sense of reverence for this most important sacrament of our faith.

What is the next hurdle? Getting Samuel to follow along, or pay attention, to what is going on at mass. This is going to be tricky. Samuel and I sit in the very back of the church. His behavior is such that others would find it to be very distracting, so I try to stay in the back where he isn't as much of a distraction. People at our parish are wonderfully understanding. I wish that some children wouldn't stare at him as much as they do, but I'm sure that 86 pound almost 5 foot tall 9 year old Samuel moving around like a two year old is quite a curious site to behold! Anyways, back to sitting at the back of the church, it is difficult for Samuel to see what is going on. I think it would be helpful for him to be able to see what is going on at the altar, but I don't feel like he is quite ready to sit up where he would be a distraction. I'm going to think a bit about what we might do. If anyone has any suggestions, or would like to share how their child has learned to better participate in mass, church services, concerts, lectures, etc... I'd love to hear about it!

Until Samuel receives his First Communion, I suppose I'll still keep the Skittles on hand. I may need them to get over the next few hurdles, and I'm okay giving them to him in church right now (we are required to fast one hour before receiving Communion, so edible reinforcers will not be an option once he hopes to receive). However, now that I have seen that he can get by without them, I will make more of an effort to save them for after Mass.