Last Tuesday grades kindergarten through second grade held a music concert at Samuel's school. I attended along with Samuel's 2 brothers and sister. Each grade sang 4 or 5 songs and between each grade singing we had to wait while they filed off the stage and the next group assembled. It was a warm day and the air in the gymnasium where it was held was quite stifling. I had to take my other 3 children out for a break because the still air and the noise level just got to be too much. My homeschooled children are not used to assembling in large groups in an enclosed area like that! I wondered how Samuel and his autistic classmates were enduring it. I noticed that one boy had what appeared to be headphones on, probably to block out the noise!
Samuel's grade was the last to sing. They assembled on stage. Samuel stood at the end of a row. His aid stood quite a ways back in the audience but was watching him carefully.
Glass half full version of the story: Samuel stood with his class while they sang two songs. Then he had to take a break.
Glass half empty version of the story: Samuel looked lost standing up there with his classmates. He did not sing any of the songs. His aid had sent me home the words to the songs but I did not go over them with Samuel in the couple weeks I had them. I did not know the melodies to two of them, and I just never got around to calling the teacher to find out. I had heard Samuel singing some of them at home, but at the concert he did not sing at all. After two songs he turned around and stood with his back to the audience. His aid brought him down from the stage and he never went back up. I found out later that he had been crying. When I asked him why he just said "I was sad." He would not elaborate any further even when I tried to get him to.
This makes me wonder even further about Samuel's educational setting at school. What are we hoping that he will accomplish? What is the benefit of him participating in an event when it really doesn't mean all that much to him? Should he be included in everything? I don't mean to sound negative about this, but when I look at the amount of time that he is away from our family, I have to wonder if the results we see are worth it. There are some positive things yes, but it seems to me the older that Samuel gets the less appropriate his educational setting is. I want his learning and his life to be meaningful to him, not just convenient for me.
8 comments:
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Because "Ronn" is asperger's, we have pushed and killed ourselves keeping him in social settings.
Ronn had a horrible time in kindergarten--repeated meltdowns, behaviors, etc.
Now that he's 10yo, he's come so far. Did the equivalent of climbing Everest this year. I never knew he could come so far.
I'd leave him.. yes the system... UGH!!! but... the truth is you have 3 children that need that 1:1 time with Mom when he's not there. If he was home as well you would not be able to spend the time with them unless you had all day full respite support to help you teach him.
I couldn't bring my eldest home... He needs the constant "something going on". But the little one... We're going to ask a million questions between now and next April. I'm going to see what it's like for him full time in a regular classroom.. you know one day they'll pull his support.. I'm going to ask about a PDD classroom and go and see them.
I may still bring him home. They promised me his PEC's to take to speech camp... they wouldn't release them yesterday to go to the assessment. Good thing I have enough here to make my own book.
S.
Call me a weirdo, softey, unlearned,unsafisticated whatever..
But these are first and foremost children. I do not feel they need to be "doing" all the time. They like some things better than others, just like everybody else does.
I wont say too much.
I am not an expert.
Just my humble opinion.
maybe it's time to rethink homeschooling Sam, too. as a homeschooler of Aspies, I can only say how much it has helpes my ASD boys. It's just so much easier for my kids to learn in a place they feel safe, and they didn;t feel that way at the public school..
Anyway, I hope ou find a solution that works best for Sam!
Ohh... and Aspies at home are very different than Aspies at public schol. I found at home, Connor didn't have nearly as many meltdowns, and didn't need nearly as much constant supervision as he did at thhe public school, so it wasn't as difficult as it looked it might be.
Thanks everyone! I'm glad that summer vacation is here (we're experiencing Day 1 of it today!). We have lots of time to think about things and try some things here at home.
My son's pre k class had a program and I called the teacher before I decided to go or not and asked her was he participating..and she said no. So I told her we wouldn't be coming, he got to see all the performances that day and I didn't see any need to go back to the school that night since it would probably cause a huge meltdown!
Hi Kristi, I'll read your blog later and find out more about your son's situation at school. Thanks for your comment! Samuel's did not experience the inclusion setting until kindergarten. I really don't know how he would have done with a "performance" like this in Pre-K. He did great when he was on stage with the rest of his class in kindergarten and first grade. Now he is a bit more emotional and I wonder if he realizes that he is different from other kids.
I look forward to reading your blog Kristi!
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